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applesauceandadhd

Not sure how I feel about this egg roller?! Have you seen this before?!

#LTKfoodie #LTKHome #LTKSeasonal

Not sure how I feel about this egg roller?! Have you seen this before?! LTKfoodie LTKHome LTKSeasonal

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Walmart spring pajamas I LOVE!! Refresh your pajama wardrobe and match with me :)

#LTKootd #LTKmorningroutine #LTKSeasonal

“How are you so confident?”

I get asked this all. the. time. And honestly? The answer might surprise you.

I’ve been plus-size my whole life. I didn’t become confident—I kind of arrived with the “I don’t care” gene baked in.

I was that plus-size girl in a bikini on the beach in 2009—because if my friends could soak up the sun, why shouldn’t I?? That era was NOT plus-size bikini friendly… ask me how I know.

But even if I was born slightly unbothered by what strangers think, I still had to work hard to accept one thing: this is what I look like.

Yes, I’m yelling. At you—and probably at past-me too. The version of me who used to look at pictures and think, “Nope. That is NOT what I look like.” Spoiler alert, babe—yes, it is. And guess what? That’s okay.

I’ve got a soft tummy. A double chin. Wiggly, jiggly arms. That’s me. And I don’t hate her. I got here by showing up in front of the camera, not behind it. By letting myself exist in photos. Messy angles and all.

Social media can either wreck your self-esteem or make you stronger. I chose—CHOSE—not to let it break me.

Want to know how much commentary I get on my body? Seriously, you don’t. If I listened to random people’s opinions, I’d be in pieces. But I stopped living for “other people” a long time ago.

So yeah. Sometimes I don’t look my best. Sometimes I cringe at the angle. But life isn’t a photoshoot. Life doesn’t wait for your perfect lighting.

Can you imagine all the joy I’d miss if I only showed up when I was “perfect”? Nah. Not doing that. And neither should you.

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The real reason I don't post my kids might surprise you.

My children are UNREASONBLY cute. Like...actually, I am not sure how two humans this adorable came from Matt and I. It should be illegal to be as cute as my kids are, but OF COURSE THEY ARE CUTE... I made them ;)

But my kids being cute isn't why I don't share them, infact the fact that they ARE this cute makes it so hard because I am a proud mom and I want nothing more than to show off these two beautiful little creatures to anyone who cares.

But I can't. It's not safe for our family.

Many families have made the decision to not post their kids on social media for a variety of reasons. I am no exception to this. There are a bunch of reasons, we don't share family photos.

But one of the biggest reasons that I don't share my kids is their safety.

Imagine being 5 and 7 and someone you don't know or recognize spots you and greets YOU by name. They know what you had for dinner this week. They know about your family vacation you took, they know what sports you play. This person definitely doesn't FEEL like a stranger.

Once my following started to grow, we made some changes to ensure my kids have a safe and "normal" life. Also let's remember there is a BIG difference between posting a cute family photo to your 200 closest friends and family on your personal, private account and me posting a photo to 3 million or more people. I can barely wrap my head around millions of people knowing who I am... there is no way my kids should be subjected to the opinions of that many strangers, even if they can't read the comments yet.

So, you might see their hands, or the back of their head, but I wont be posting a super cute smiling picture online.

Now, having me for a mom in ANY capacity means my kids are growing up far from normal... have you met me?! But I know people are curious why some creators choose to not post their kids, so I figured I would share a little behind the scenes on what went into our decision to not share our kids on my page.

#LTKootd #LTKSeasonal #LTKmomlife

I’m DONE.

Done waiting for an occasion to wear a cute outfit. Done worrying if people notice I don’t always look this put together. Done worrying if it looks like I’m trying too hard—spoiler alert: I am trying.

I spent YEARS in leggings, oversized sweaters, and mystery stains. So now that I am not consistently dodging spit up or toddlers wiping their nose on my sleeve I am dressing for me.

Once when I worked at a shoe store, an old man told his wife, “Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, sweetheart. Buy the shoes.” And honestly? That’s the energy I’m channeling now.

There’s no redo button.

This isn’t practice run.

You don’t need a reason to wear the outfit you love. If my kids can rock a Halloween costume in the middle of July at the grocery store without hesitation, then I can run errands in something that makes me feel good.

Remember:
Clothing “rules” are made up.
No one can tell that you’re not a hat person.
The only opinion that really matters is yours.

Some days I’m the definition of hot mess mom, and some days I just wanna feel cute—god damn it. Either way, it’s just me, and that’s enough.

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🌊 The beach doesn’t have a weight limit.

☀️ The sand is for everyone.
🏖️ The water does not care how much you weigh.

You deserve to be comfortable. Whether that’s a bikini, a one-piece, shorts, or whatever feels good on your body—you don’t have to hide.

Spoiler alert: everyone already knows what size we are. My swimsuit doesn’t trick anyone. I’m the same size in a bikini as I am sweating in a hoodie on the sidelines, and I’d rather be comfortable and making memories than overheating while trying to disappear.

My stomach is there either way. My arms and legs exist whether I cover them or not. And my kids are watching. They’re learning what it looks like to take up space, to dress for the weather, to enjoy the moment.

Wearing jeans and a sweatshirt in 90 degrees sends a louder message than we think: that what strangers might think of our bodies is more important than our own comfort or joy.

It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to run to the store and grab a $15 swimsuit that fits. You don’t need to be fancy. You just need to show up. You don’t have to wear a bikini—but you do deserve to splash and laugh and soak up summer.

And next time you’re worried about how you’ll look at the beach, ask yourself this:
Do you remember a single person from your last beach day and what they were wearing?

Probably not.
Because we’re all too busy living our own lives.
So live yours. You deserve that.

Linking my swimsuit in a different color!

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This is 315 lbs. 5’6”. And guess what?

I’m allowed to wear the cute clothes.
Crop tops? Mine!!!
Short shorts? Yep.
Arms out? Every damn day!

And I’m also allowed to think I’m super cute.
Because… let’s be real. I am.

I’ve been plus-sized my entire life. As young as 10, people were already calling me “overweight.” And the world made sure I knew I was less than. Like I didn’t deserve to feel pretty, seen, wanted.

We’re taught we can be confident despite how we look—but never because of how we look.

I was the size 18 girl in high school wearing a bikini at the local beach. Why? Because I wanted to tan like my thin besties. Who, by the way, never made me feel less than. But the world? The world wasn’t so kind.
Boys didn’t call for me—they called to ask about my friends. Because why would they like this, right?
Honestly? A blessing in disguise.
Because the right person? They’ll see your worth without needing to squint or shrink you down.

You deserve to wear the cute clothes.
You deserve to feel cute.
You’re valuable at any size—not just small, medium, or large.

You are worthy of love, affection, and attention.
No matter your size.

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I am on anti depressants.

I remember the first time I heard someone, outside of my nuclear family, openly talk about this.

I clutched my metaphorical pearls that she was confident enough to admit to not only NEEDING help for depression but actually SEEKING it. On top of it all— She. Wasn’t. Ashamed. And rightly so.

This was YEARS ago. I was unmedicated, and also completely unaware how bad my own mental health really was.

You see, my brain? She’s a LIAR.

My brain says things like:
You CAN do it, you’re just too LAZY.
Everyone else is THRIVING—this is a YOU problem.
You’re a burden.
No one cares.

Among other heinous lies…

And I spent a lot of years internalizing these things. But I’m older now, wiser, and arguably better at detecting that I am being lied to.

WHAT. A. BITCH. My own brain! Betraying me like this?!

But, to the random mom on a play date who casually mentioned how antidepressants changed your life, thank you. You normalized needing help at a time in my life when I didn’t even realize I needed it.

Now I didn’t run right out and get medicated, though I probably needed to. I did what any normal person does. I pretended everything was FINEEEE and I clawed my way through life with the weight of depression and anxiety sitting on my back for a few more years — you know, the *healthy* way to deal with things.

But when things came to a head and I realized I couldn’t keep living like this anymore, I felt a little less shame knowing someone I viewed as a totally normal person, and not at all failure of a mom, was on anti depressants.

Needing help doesn’t make you weak.
Seeking help doesn’t mean you are a failure.

And if knowing you’re not alone dealing with mental health struggles helps— Hi, I’m Jessica a totally normal person with anxiety, depression and ADHD, and medication and therapy changed my life.

#LTKSeasonal #LTKgrwm #LTKootd

Felt cute. Not deleting. Not apologizing.

Maybe it’s hitting my 30s…
Maybe it’s finally realizing how long I spent settling…

But, I’m done buying clothes that don’t make me feel like the best version of ME.

For years I grabbed the cheapest thing on the rack just because it technically fit. Then wondered why it ripped, stretched out, or made me feel “blah” five minutes later. In my mind quantity was far more important than quality.

And I’m not talking about buying luxury clothes. I am talking about skipping the $10 tee shirts and getting a better quality, better fitting $20 shirt. Sure I could have 2 $10 shirts for the same price, but is it worth it if I don’t even wanna put it on? Probably not.

And let me tell you… a simple, well-fitting outfit can boost your confidence in ways you don’t even expect. When you feel good, it shows.

So here I am on a Friday, feeling myself, and not sorry about it one bit.

#LTKootd #LTKSeasonal #LTKPlusSize

I’m 300 lbs and I like the way I look.

When I stand in front of the mirror I don’t poke and pull at my body trying to morph it into the shape I wish it was. I don’t analyze my stretch marks to see if they have gotten lighter or darker. I don’t pick myself apart for every imperfection that I wish I could snap my fingers and change.

I just look at her.

And so do my kids.

They are observing.
They are learning.
They are internalizing.

My outward voice and actions about MY body will become their inner voice about THEIRS.

So I look in the mirror because I’m beautiful. I take the picture because my life is worth documenting no matter my size. I wear the swimsuit because joy isn’t reserved for a size small.

And my kids, they are watching.

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I’m fat.

Cue the gasps. The awkward looks. The sudden urge some of you feel to reassure me like I don’t own a mirror.

Here’s the truth.

Fat people know they’re fat.

We move through the world painfully aware that our bodies are often treated like a moral failing. Like our size somehow cancels out our intelligence, our work ethic, our worth.

My intelligence gets questioned.

My hard work gets minimized.

My value gets reduced.

All because I’m fat.

And if that sounds dramatic to you, I’m genuinely glad you haven’t lived it.

I am fat.

AND

I am a great mom.
I am a hard worker.
I am intelligent.
I am valuable.
I am kind.

I am fat and I don’t tear people down for how they look.

I am fat and I don’t assume I’m better than someone else because of how they feed their family or live their life.

If being fat is the worst thing about me…

You can call me fat.

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