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I have many friends but none of them are named Wilson. Actually, that’s a lie, I don’t have many friends.

This is terrible for my ability to hold a grudge.

I found the solution.

Just putting it out there for her future boyfriends.

Me trying to solve the birth rate problem one nail appointment at a time.

Could I sacrifice more? Absolutely. Hope this helps.

Motherhood, but make it aesthetically self-serving.

I regret to inform you that I will, in fact, be using the village.

But seriously, I smell.

What’s in my diaper bag

#LTKmomlife

First postpartum hair care

Technically 40w3d now but who’s counting? 🫠

Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine: Kyle.

It’s not home without a giant portrait of Sawyer. @companion_archive

Pouring one out for all my selfish ladies

But why don’t you just tryYyYyYyYyY

Rich in life because I didn’t marry a man who wants to go camping on the weekends.

Just no.

Four years to realize my niche is Asian dad slippers.

There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else, there’s marrying a man with a career.

I really thought I had it the first two times.

You weren’t ugly, your ex was making you ugly.

Excellent use of my free will if you ask me.

But actually, my butterflies need some help.

A bad thought is not a bad life unless you let the bad thought rule your life.

I’m a reptile.

Bankrupt the Chads. Sorry to my lippy from @westmanatelier but it did survive in case you were wondering

She found the only sweater that has ever had sleeves short enough for me.

You’re your own biggest bully.

Plot twists are ugly but staying where you were would’ve been uglier.

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