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Patience is a virtue until it becomes your prison.

Thirties > twenties

Traffic was ~*iNsAnE*~

My Plan A probably would’ve worked

Happy anniversary to my lobster, my raven, and some guy named Dave I met on Bumble.

Jk, my husband doesn’t leave the toilet seat up

Warriors > Winners

100% or nothing

When they said “trust the process”, they didn’t know how untrustworthy I would be during the process.

#LTKShoeCrush #LTKParties #LTKHome

Anything he can do, I can do better.

#LTKSummerEdit

#LTKSeasonal #LTKHome

You’re a glow stick, even if you don’t know it

You can either be a good witch or a bad witch.

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@onesize Liquid Liner
@skii.usa Facial Treatment Essence
@sulwhasoo.us Concentrated Ginseng Ampoule Serum
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@erborian_usa CC Red Correct
@bobbibrown Weightless Skin Foundation
@lorealparis Brow Lamination
@olaplex Bonding Oil
@janeiredale Lip Glaze

If advice was a mashup from the 2010s

@drunkelephant Eye Cream
@dieuxskin Eye Masks
@medicube_global_official Red Centella Balm
@neutrogena Water Gel
@shiseido SPF Stick
@esteelauder Double Wear Foundation
@tower28beauty Blush
@olaplex Bonding Oil
@typologyparis Lip Oil

Being single > being lonely with a Chad

@janeiredale Eyeshadow Sticks
@skii.usa Facial Treatment Essence
@timeline_longevity Cellular Energy Serum
@caudalieus Premier Cru
@typologyparis Tinted Serum
@armanibeauty Luminois Silk Concealer
@bobbibrown Weightless Skin Foundation
@welovecoco Bronzing Cream
@olaplex Bonding Oil
@clarinsusa Lip Oil

Luda knows best

@olaplex Bonding Oil
@caudalieus Beauty Elixir
@maybelline Lifter Liner 02 and Lifter Gloss 004

🍆

@essie nail color #304
@skii.usa Facial Treatment Essence
@caudalie Vinoperfect Serum
@shiseido Synchroshield SPF
@bobbibrown Weightless Skin Foundation
@armanibeauty Luminous Skin Concealer
@olaplex Bond Smoother & Bonding Oil
@lauramercier Pressed Powder
@maybelline Lifter Gloss shade Stone

Make your own sandwich, Chad.

The *proverbial* house down, because arson isn’t sexy.

@dieuxskin Angel Eyes mask
@janeiredale Eyeshadow Sticks & Blush
@skii.usa Facial Treatment Essence
@truebotanicals Bronze Well Regenerative Drops
@tula Protect and Glow SPF
@typologyparis Tinted Serum
@armanibeauty Luminous Silk Concealer
@lorealparis Brow Lamination
@olaplex Bonding Oil
@lauramercier Caviar Smoothing Matte Lipstick

Happy mental health awareness month to all my dumb b*tches.

@dieuxskin Eye Patches
@janeiredale Eyeshadow
@armanibeauty Luminous Silk Concealer
@maybelline Tattoo Liner & Lifter Gloss
@thrivecausemetics Eyelash Glue
@kissproducts Legacy Lashes
@Sulwhasoo.us Concentrated Ginseng Renewing Serum
@medicube_global_official Red Centella Balm
@Supergoop Glow Stick
@typologyparis Tinted Serum
@olaplex Bonding Oil

Home is where the Chads aren’t. Everything is linked in my LTK except my dog.

Wallpaper: @amazon
Vanity: @homedepot
Vanity Fixins: @lafco @jomalonelondon @hotellobbycandle
Rug: @ruggable

You, my biddie, are a hydrangea bush in full bloom, and Chad is merely crabgrass.

@skii.usa Facial Treatment Essence
@sulwhasoo.us Concentrated Ginseng Ampoule
@neutrogena Hydro Boost
@augustinusbader The Mineral Sunscreen
@peachandlily Glass Skin Luminizing Stick
@typologyparis Tinted Serum
@esteelauder Double Wear Foundation
@armanibeauty Luminous Silk Concealer
@politesocietybeauty Blurring Bronzer
@narsissist Blush
@grandecosmetics Tinted Brow Gel and Serum
@livingproofinc Dry Volume & Texture Spray
@olaplex Bonding Oil
@maybelline Lifter Gloss

Show me a straight man who hasn’t owned an ugly brown couch and I’ll show you a man who is lying. Happy Valentine’s Day, biddies.

@lorealparis
@onesize
@nexxushaircare
@maybelline
@mejuri
@area

Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night’s 50th Anniversary with my @maybelline fam. So utterly grateful for this life and for the fact that I grew up in the same era as the Backstreet Boys. #SNL50xMaybelline @nbcsnl

Thank you, thank you, and a million times more thank yous to @maybelline for this once in a lifetime experience.

Woke up and chose violence.

Lip: @armanibeauty
Sweater: @lagencefashion

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