pumpsandprotractors on LTK

pumpsandprotractors

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Chiara heeled sandals | Farfetch Global

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Sorry if I’ve ghosted you—I’ve been too busy WERKING. ⚡️🪩

Translation: I’ve been knee deep in piles of clothes trying to find something to wear and making a huge mess just to find a look worth serving…

Tbh my maximalist wardrobe has taken over my house, mind, and life, making me in full sensory overload of prints, textures, and archival statement pieces so circling back on DMs has become an Olympic sport I’m clearly not getting a medal in🙃

Are the outfits worth the lack of time to socialize??

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Hi friends, I’m Tabi! 👋✨ I thought I’d reintroduce myself🥰 Welcome to @pumpsandprotractors—your digital home for maximalist style, archival designer gems, dopamine dressing, and unapologetically eccentric fashion🌈

My style is inspired by the psychedelic 1960s, vintage glam vibes, and runway fashion- and of course, all things colorful!

If you like your outfits loud, your shoe collection heavily curated (and slightly unhinged), and your life philosophy rooted in the belief that life is way too short to wear boring clothes, you are in the exact right place.
Whether we’re hunting down rare vintage pieces, breaking all the traditional rules of style, or just laughing through the chaos of a maximalist closet, I am so glad you’re here🫶

Hit that follow button, grab your favorite statement accessory, and let’s make everyday a runway! 🥂👠💖

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“I love sleeping under the stars... all five of them.” 🏨✨

Truth be told, I went tent camping once and absolutely hated it🙃 (but I did try it!) If I don’t have an RV, it’s a no from me…

Do I look like a woman who wants to commune with mosquitoes, fight a tent zipper in the dark, and wake up on a deflated piece of plastic just to call it “character-building”? Absolutely not. My idea of outdoor survival is sitting on a luxury hotel balcony with air conditioning, room service, and a view of the night sky through a clean glass window.

Leave me to my high thread counts. I’ll be glamping. 🥂💅 Tag your non-outdoorsy friends!

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Someone out there is looking at the way you show up, the way you dress, and the way you unapologetically take up space, and they are completely in awe of you. ✨

Never dim your light, tone down your style, or second-guess your magic just to make it easier for people who aren’t playing on your level. The world needs your color, your confidence, and your specific kind of joy.
Keep being you. Keep loving yourself fiercely. The right people are watching—and you might just be giving someone else the permission they need to shine, too. 🥂💖

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My spending habits versus my husband’s spending habits:

Me: A vintage Miu Miu heel collection, 47 sequined jackets, and a custom Oscar de la Renta dress ✨💅

My husband: Analyzing a coupon to see if we can save 12 cents on a single roll of paper towels 🧐📉

Opposites attract, they say. What they don’t tell you is that “attract” means I am single-handedly funding the global economy while he treats every single online checkout button like a major emergency. He is a careful, calculated saver; I am a maximalist who views “add to cart” as a form of therapy.

We balance each other out. He keeps a roof over our heads, and I make sure that roof has enough fabulous clothes under it to fill a museum. 🥂💸

#SpenderAndSaver #MarriageHumor #CouplesComedy #FinancialOpposites #ShoppingAddict

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People: “You handle everything so gracefully! You’re the epitome of calm.”

Me, internally: I am a house of cards in a hurricane, held together by sheer willpower, expensive lipstick, and the hope that no one notices I’m about to snap. 🌪️💄

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not “handling it.” I am exactly one minor inconvenience—a broken heel, an out-of-stock item, or a tangled necklace—away from a full-blown, floor-thumping meltdown. I’m just really good at curating the “unbothered” aesthetic while my soul is screaming in a completely different zip code.
I’ll keep serving the look, but behind the scenes? I’m one spilled matcha away from a total system reboot. 💅🫠

#FashionHumor #RelatableFashion #StyleInspo #ChaosCoordinator #DopamineDressing

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@Target

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Part 3 of the bag vault has arrived, and I promise these are even weirder than the last. 👜✨

If you’re looking for a boring, practical purse, you’ve come to the wrong place. We are currently in the “why does that look like a toy?” phase of my collection. From questionable shapes to details that make people ask, “Wait... is that a bag?”, these are the pieces that make my heart skip a beat.

Who needs a sensible tote when you can carry your belongings in something that looks like an art installation? 🎨👜

Which one would you actually carry, and which one belongs in a museum? Let me know your favorite from this batch!

#UniqueHandbags #BagCollector #WeirdFashion #StatementBag #AccessoryObsessed

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POV: My handbag collection has officially crossed into *”Is that... a purse?”* territory. 😂👜 From the wonderfully weird to the completely unexpected, these are some of my strangest handbags—and yes, I absolutely love every single one.

Which one would you actually carry? Be honest! 👀 Drop your favorite (or the one you’d never be caught with 😂) in the comments & lmk if you wanna see part 2!

If you love unique handbags, novelty bags, statement accessories, luxury fashion, and collecting conversation-starting pieces, you’re in the right place. Follow for more handbag collections, fashion finds, and accessories that are anything but ordinary.

✨ Save this reel for handbag inspiration and share it with the friend who appreciates a little fashion chaos.

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@100 Percent Pure

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POV: They said “it’s not a fashion show” but I still showed up dressed like the main character 😌✨

Confidence is wearing what makes YOU feel good — not what makes other people comfortable. Life’s too short for boring outfits and opinions that don’t pay your bills 💅😂 Wear the fit. Take the pics. Be extra.

Tag someone who’s always overdressed in the best way 👇

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pov- wishing you could exist for a living but you got generational trauma instead of generational wealth💀

I really thought I’d be living a soft life funded by old money… not healing childhood issues while answering a billion work emails and pretending burnout is a personality trait🙃

Just a girl with expensive taste, zero inheritance, and emotional issues ✨

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Friendly reminder: I’m actually showing tremendous personal growth by not being as unhinged as I could be despite having a purse made from a puffer fish and more than 400 shoes🙃 Some of y’all should honestly be thanking me daily😂

The self-control it takes to stay quiet, stay calm, and not crash out on the daily deserves awards at this point. But instead, I keep my weirdness to myself… most of the time😌✨

If you’ve ever had to consistently fight the urge to go full chaos mode, we can be friends🫶

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POV: You finally realized people are gonna judge you whether you shine or shrink… so you might as well be fabulous. 💅✨

Wear the outfit. Take the selfie. Start the business. Dance like nobody’s filming (even though they definitely are 😂). Confidence looks good on you, babe — and the best glow-up happens when you stop asking for permission to be yourself.

Reminder: the people talking about you probably wish they had your courage anyway. Stay bold, stay unbothered, and keep serving main character energy. 👑🔥

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Somewhere between golden hour skies, summer air, and getting ready for a wedding that feels straight out of a movie ✨🌸

I’ll never get over how the smallest details complete a look — soft fabrics, glowing makeup, and jewelry that catches the light just right. Wearing @dhwanibansalofficial for this dreamy summer wedding moment felt effortless, elegant, and a little magical 💫

Saving this energy for every sunset wedding invite this season 🤍

Bridesmaid dress by @shoprevelry 🎀

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POV: my husband opens the closet and finds *another* pair of “wtf are those” shoes😭🤣

But THESE are vintage Pan-T-Boots from the 1960s… and if you know, you KNOW. The print. The history. The fact that they look like they walked straight out of a mod fashion archive. Absolute treasure. ✨👢

Meanwhile my husband is asking himself “who did I marry??”💀

Vintage collectors understand the thrill of finding rare 1960s fashion pieces that nobody else appreciates until they suddenly become iconic. Some people collect trinkets… I collect questionable footwear with character 😂

Tell me the one thing in your closet your partner will never understand 👇

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