What NOT to do when your toddler hits (and what to do instead) Self-regulating is an important skill for toddlers that takes a lot of practice (and tbh I’m still learning it too) Is your toddler hitting? DON’T… ❌Generalize “we don’t hit.” “That’s not kind.” “No! Stop doing that” ❌Have a big reaction (raising your voice, big hand gestures, big consequences and lecture) ❌Try to immediately correct/ coach “what else can we do instead of hitting?” (save this for LATER, once everyone is calm!) Your toddler just smacked you in the face or pushed the baby over or threw a toy at another kid. DO… ✅Calmly remove them from the situation ✅Calmly set expectations/boundaries “You can’t [hit/push/throw…]. Hitting hurts.” ✅Calmly label their emotion “You’re feeling [frustrated/sad/mad] because… ✅Calmly affirm feelings while setting the boundary “it’s ok to feel…, but… ✅Calmly explain the boundary “I will hold [your hands/ the toy/ the baby] to keep everyone safe.” ✅Calmly tell them what they CAN do! “You can either wait for your turn with the green dino or you can play with the blue dino instead.” You don’t have to do these all at once, especially the first time you try it! And, when it’s calm (few hours later), say “Your brother’s body/feelings were hurt when you… Can you think of a way to help him feel better?” Discuss briefly and without punishment or consequence. ✨Comment TODDLER for links to helpful self-regulation books for kids like ❤️What To Do When You Feel Like Hitting by Cara Goodwin @parentingtranslator ❤️What To Do When You Feel Like Biting by Cara Goodwin ❤️What To Do When It’s Time to Calm Down by Cara Goodwin Have your kids ever hit, bite, or hurt others? What works for your family? conscious parenting | toddler mom | toddler parents | gentle parenting | preschool parents | toddler dad | preschool dad respectfulparenting copingskills resilientkids