Ok but the end of this video!!! I HAVE NO WORDS 🥹 well we are definitely going to need some therapy…. i don’t know why radiation has been such an emotional roller coaster. Maybe because during chemotherapy I was too sick to even sit up. 🩷 Lying here in this big machine every day, arms strapped in above my head…. vulnerable and exposed. It forced me to surrender. I had to let go of control. I’m not in control, and I’ve learned that I never really was. 🩷 My body has endured so much this year. I feel sad. I feel shame. I feel guilt. But I also feel loved, encouraged, grateful and most importantly, hopeful. 🩷 I also feel proud because I kept showing up. To be honest @drmikechiodo (https://www.instagram.com/drmikechiodo/) made me because at least three of the days I had full melt downs being like “please don’t make me go back” 🥹. I don’t know why. I think it’s the medically induced menopause or maybe it’s just everything at once. But I did it or well, he made me do it. 🫣 And I’m glad he did. And I keep trying to show up here too. Messy, raw, in tears, in pain. Always searching for the little moments of joy. 🩷 Desperately seeking small wins. Believing this weird mess will help someone else. Spending the entire day everyday to rewire my brain to feel grateful. 🩷 But I’ve learned a lot about faith and hope. About surrender. About trusting that even when you can’t see what’s next, God still can. 🙏 LTKSeasonal LTKStyleTip