christie_ferrari on LTK

Comment FRIEND for the words & tips that show you how to tell the difference between someone who’s just trying to be polite and someone who keeps you on standby with on-off attention so you can stop guessing and invest wisely. Because polite people don’t promise closeness. Mean girl patterns hint at connection, then don’t follow through. All inside Assertive YOU (I also take consult questions there too). And comment OUTFIT for links Not everyone who’s polite wants to be your friend and that’s not mean. The problem starts when politeness feels like potential… and you start overinvesting. The red flag isn’t disinterest. It’s confusion, inconsistency, and subtle exclusion. If you’re constantly wondering where you stand, something is likely off. As for the 4 Signs They Don’t Want to Be Friends (They’re Just Polite, Not a Mean Girl) Sign 1: Friendly when you run into them, but it doesn’t extend beyond that = good manners, no interest. They hint at plans or closeness, then disappear when follow through is needed = mean girl pattern. Sign 2: Multiple texts go unanswered over time = good manners, no interest. They reply just enough to keep the door cracked then disappear again = mean girl pattern. Sign 3: They never text first. Never suggest plans. Never circle back. Zero initiation = good manners, no interest. They initiate selectively, only when it benefits them (information, access, optics) = mean girl pattern. Sign 4: If space forms, they let it stay = good manners, no interest. They periodically pull you back in with compliments, warmth, or nostalgia then drop you again, leaving you unsure where you stand = mean girl pattern. LTKWedding LTKootd LTKPetite

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Arno fringed long dress | Farfetch Global

Mini Valentino Garavani Locò Handbag In Calfskin | Saks Fifth Avenue

115mm VLogo Signature Patent Leather Platform Sandals | Neiman Marcus

VLogo leather platform sandals | Mytheresa (US/CA)

Aventador fringed one-shoulder midi dress | Mytheresa (US/CA)

Joanne Maxi Dress | Showpo (US, UK & Europe)

Antonia Dress in Natural | Revolve Clothing (Global)

Reese Maxi Dress | Revolve Clothing (Global)

Today’s dress for a day at sea with Hunter Bell in Palm Beach.

Spring dress, spring dress, mom dress, baby shower dress, bridal shower dress

#LTKdayinmylife #LTKootd #LTKgrwm

Comment Mean Girl for scripts & tips if a friend group has ever made you question your place. I’ll send you tools to handle it without overthinking or over chasing.

Comment Outfit for links.

As for the 4 tactics a Queen Bee Mean Girl uses to stay in power and quietly isolate you

-She gets the women in the group to compete with one another by dropping comments that make everyone question where they stand. She stays central while everyone is competing for closeness.

-She “forgets” to invite you, leaves you off the group chat, and makes plans in front of you.
You start trying harder to stay included and that’s how she keeps control.

-She talks about you to others instead of to you. Now everyone goes through her for the story, and she stays central because whoever controls the information controls the group.

-She pulls away from anyone who speaks up. Others stay quiet and distance themselves from you so they don’t lose their spot, leaving you isolated.

Pink heels, party shoes, pink crystal shoes, pink dress, Valentine’s Day outfit, Galentine’s Day outfit

#LTKNYFW #LTKValentine #LTKgrwm

Last night with Shopbop.

Wore this gorgeous plaid kaftan that’s perfect for colder temps, spring, and summer.

Date night, girls night, baby shower dress, party dress

#LTKNYFW #LTKootd #LTKgrwm

Last night’s outfit to celebrate Shopbop’s Miami Pop Up

Spring dress, green dress, brown heels

#LTKNYFW #LTKootd #LTKgrwm

Comment FRIEND for the words, tips, and a decision checklist that shows you how to respond, when to step back, and how to stop carrying the emotional work in your friendships in 2026.

Comment OUTFIT for links.

Mean girl behavior is breadcrumbing.
She reaches out just enough to keep you waiting, wondering, and over investing, often when she senses you pulling away. There’s contact, but no repair, follow-through, or real sense of where you stand. Whether intentional or not, the behavior keeps the power with her, maintaining access without closeness or accountability.

As for the 3 Things Mean Girl Behavior is NOT…

It’s NOT “being nice,” it’s avoidance. Not replying to texts over time isn’t kindness. Staying quiet can feel more polite than saying, “I’m not interested.” But silence feels kind to them, not to you.

It’s NOT “being busy” or “going through something.” People who are busy or struggling don’t disappear and reappear without repair. They might answer late but when they do, it’s warm. They don’t leave you guessing where you stand. They come back and say something like, “Sorry I went quiet, I’ve been going through a lot.”

It’s NOT ADHD or Neurodivergence. Interest is there but follow through is messy. ADHD and neurodivergence can make replies inconsistent or delayed but the care is still there. They forget and come back, then apologize for the delay. It’s unorganized, not intentional.

Comment MEAN GIRL for the words and tips to test what’s really going on before you get iced out or quietly pushed out of the group. Early red flags aren’t warnings to leave, they’re signals to adjust before the pattern locks in.

Comment Outfit for links.

4 Mean Girl Red Flags to Spot Early in 2026 So You Don’t Doubt Yourself

When you’re around them, you consistently leave interactions confused. That confusion keeps you sticking around, so you doubt yourself instead of the situation.

You start editing yourself, re-reading texts, changing your words, and holding back. You don’t realize you’re walking on eggshells.

They talk like you’re close in front of others, but act distant one-on-one.

Early on, you notice you’re the one changing, reaching out less, lowering expectations, or staying flexible just to avoid being sidelined.

About Christie, Dr. C: I’m a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models. I blend evidence-based strategies with lived experience to help you handle mean girls, navigate parenting challenges, set real boundaries, make new friends, and stop shrinking in your friendships.

Holiday outfit idea. This green velvet suit fit like a glove.

#LTKGiftGuide #LTKPetite #LTKHoliday

Outdoor ice skating rink & snow machine

Today we celebrated my son’s 3rd birthday with a monster trucks in the snow themed party.

#LTKHome #LTKGiftGuide #LTKKids

Easy winter outfit. Just swap out the shoes for boots.

Ridging leggings, winter leggings, skiing leggings, winter jacket, grey sweater

#LTKHoliday #LTKSeasonal #LTKootd

A well set table + well set boundaries = your peace. Comment Furniture for links & pieces are from @cityfurniture

Want more scripts? Comment Assertive & I’ll send you to my member’s area where you can learn all the words & tips you need to help you take back your power this holiday season.

And comment OUTFIT for a link to this black blazer romper (not a dress).

Winter outfit idea.

Winter layering.

Brown pants, brown leather vest, brown suede jacket

#LTKHoliday #LTKootd #LTKWorkwear

Winter skirt set. Wore this set for Thanksgiving. Can easily be paired with a black turtleneck and black stockings for layering for the winter.

#LTKHoliday #LTKWorkwear #LTKootd

Caraway nontoxic pots are on sale.

#LTKHome #LTKGiftGuide #LTKCyberWeek

Beige blazer dress. Beige heels.

Holiday outfit idea, party outfit

#LTKHoliday #LTKootd #LTKPetite

Comment Mean Girl for exact words & tips to use, so you can take back your power this holiday season instead of freezing up, all found inside my member’s area Assertive You.

And comment Bootcamp to join my Mean Girl Bootcamp when she’s in your family this Tuesday at noon. Can’t join? I’ll send you a link to rewatch it before Thanksgiving!

Comment Outfit for links.

As for the 4 tactics Mean girls in your family pull during the holidays to make you dread family gatherings

She always brings the drama & somehow ruins the day even after you’ve been tiptoeing around her for hours. Because if there’s chaos, the whole day ends up revolving around her.

She talks about plans with the other sisters or sister in laws right in front of you (shopping dates, girls dinners), as if you were never an option. She does it so you know where you fit in the family pecking order.

She stirs the pot by giving each sibling a slightly different version of the same story, always starting with, “Don’t tell them I said this.”
So everyone walks in tense and confused, and no one knows why the room feels off, except her.

She loves tossing subtle digs your way, then watching your reaction like a hawk. And if you call it out, you get a “I’m just kidding.” Except she wasn’t.

Holiday party outfit idea

Black romper, white romper, tuxedo romper, New Year’s Eve outfit, holiday outfit #LTKParties

#LTKHoliday #LTKPetite

The other night with @patbo & @camilacoelho

Last night’s look for a charity.

Wearing this beautiful Alexis dress that comes in other color ways.

#LTKPetite #LTKHoliday #LTKParties

Holiday dressing.

Palm beach style, New Year’s Eve dress, sequin dress, gold bag

#LTKParties #LTKStyleTip #LTKHoliday

Comment Mean Girl for exact words & tips to use, so you can take back you power this holiday season instead of freezing up, all found inside my member’s area Assertive You. Also inside, a place to ask me anonymous consult questions and access to my Mean Girl guides.

Comment Outfit for links. Red matching set, Thanksgiving outfit, holiday outfit

As for the 4 things Mean Girls do during the Holidays to make you feel left out

You find out you weren’t invited to Friendsgiving through someone’s story, the “so grateful for my girls” kind, posted like you wouldn’t notice.

And if you do bring it up later, they’ll act surprised: “You should’ve come!” as if you were the one who misunderstood. Because playing innocent keeps their image clean and leaves you questioning your worth.

They “accidentally” show you their packed holiday plans. The dinners, the Secret Santa exchange, the cookie-decorating play date. The point isn’t to include you, it’s to remind you you’re not part of any of it.

They slip in subtle digs disguised as small talk: “Oh, you’re doing plastic holiday decorations this year? “That’s cute, we just do fresh garlands, I love how festive they smell.”
It’s not about decorations, it’s status-checking, a quiet way to remind you they stand a little above you.

About Christie, Dr. C: I’m a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, ACT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models. I blend evidence-based strategies with lived experience to help you handle mean girls, navigate parenting challenges, set real boundaries, make new friends, and stop shrinking in your friendships.

#LTKHoliday #LTKFindsUnder100 #LTKParties

Fall outfit idea

Fall work outfit idea, Thanksgiving outfit idea, winter outfit idea

#LTKStyleTip #LTKWorkwear #LTKHoliday

Tonight’s pink dress.

Party dress, date night dress, girls night outfit, New Year’s Eve outfit

#LTKSeasonal #LTKParties #LTKStyleTip

Fall outfit idea. Wearing today at University of Miami

Black vegan leather shorts from Amazon, black blazer jacket, black heels

#LTKFindsUnder100 #LTKStyleTip #LTKU

Today’s fall outfit for a talk at my son’s school.

#LTKPetite #LTKSeasonal #LTKHoliday

Comment MEAN GIRL for exact words & tips to use if you’re experiencing this so you don’t lose your confidence (or your circle) in the process. And if one person can quietly shift an entire group’s perception of you, without ever saying anything technically wrong? That’s not “drama.” That’s social manipulation.

Comment Outfit for links.

And share your story how you handled a mean girl that was running a smear campaign about you.

As for the 4 Reasons Everyone Buys the Mean Girl’s Lies Before Hearing Your Side, it’s because:

It was told first so it becomes the default “truth.” Meanwhile, the person being targeted looks defensive, shocked, or quiet which people confuse with guilt.

Social rejection is scarier. So we adopt the beliefs of the group to be safe & to belong even if it doesn’t sit right with us privately.

We process & remember negative information more quickly & for longer than positive details. We treat it like a warning, “remember this so you don’t get hurt.”

Once you’re labeled as “the problem,”
people start seeing everything they do through that lens. Even normal behavior looks like “proof.” And sharing outrage? It bonds people.
It’s gossip disguised as virtue.

About Christie, Dr. C: I’m a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, ACT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models. I blend evidence-based strategies with lived experience to help you handle mean girls, navigate parenting challenges, set real boundaries, make new friends, and stop shrinking in your friendships.

Leopard 🐆 outfit for date night.

Brown heels, brown mules, date night outfit idea, leopard dress, fall outfit

#LTKShoeCrush #LTKFindsUnder100 #LTKStyleTip

Comment FRIEND to join my How to Find the Right Friends Workshop this Saturday & learn how to finally stop walking the whole distance alone from day 1. You’ll learn:

-How to attract the right people
-How to stop over-functioning
-How to build mutual effort without begging for it

Comment OUTFIT for links!

Comment ASSERTIVE for instant access to my 2 newest guides: Fringe Friend No More & Go First: Your 6-Week Roadmap to Making the Right Friends, both inside my members’ area, Assertive You.

As for the 3 Reasons You Can’t Find Friends Who Meet You Halfway it’s because:

You don’t leave space for others to show up.
You fill every silence in conversation, fix awkward moments, and over explain to keep the peace. But when you do it all, you unintentionally train them to do less.

You confuse effort with connection.
You think the more you give, the stronger the friendship but real connection only works when the effort is mutual.

You make it too easy for people not to try.
You plan & text before anyone else even thinks to. You mean well but over time, they stop initiating because they know you’ll do it.

The right friendships will meet you halfway but first, you have to stop walking the whole distance for everyone else.

About Christie, Dr. C: I’m a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models. I blend evidence-based strategies with lived experience to help you handle mean girls, navigate parenting challenges, set real boundaries, make new friends, and stop shrinking in your friendships.

Comment Mean Girls for the exact words & tips to use if you’re experiencing this so you don’t lose your confidence (or your circle) in the process. And if one person can quietly shift an entire group’s perception of you, without ever saying anything technically wrong? That’s not “drama.” That’s social manipulation.

Comment Outfit for links.

And share your story below, if this has happened to you.

As for the 4 Ways a Mean Girl Covert Narcissist Rewrites the Story to Make You the Villain:

They label you before you can label them.
“She’s crazy.” “She’s dramatic.”
They say it first so when you finally speak up, it sounds like the story they already warned others about.

They twist your strengths into flaws.
Confident? She’s Intimidating.
Kind? She’s Fake.
Set boundaries? She’s cold.
They can’t handle what makes you respected, so they try to discredit it.

They’ll accuse you of copying them. Translation: she needs to stay the original so she can stay in control. This is about her need for power & hierarchy.

And they play the victim, loudly. They’ll hint that you’re the problem so others rush to comfort them. The goal isn’t truth, it’s sympathy and social power.

About Christie, Dr. C: I’m a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models. I blend evidence-based strategies with lived experience to help you handle mean girls, navigate parenting challenges, set real boundaries, make new friends, and stop shrinking in your friendships.

Comment FRIEND to learn the exact scripts & tips in my live workshop so you can stop forcing connections that drain you and start finding aligned friendships that feel mutual from the start. Because if you don’t change how you build friendships, you’ll keep creating the same one-sided connections and calling them friendship.

Saturday, October 25th at 10am EST
& will be available for my Assertive You community. To join, comment FRIEND & I’ll send you a message.

Comment OUTFIT for links to this dress

Comment ASSERTIVE for instant access to my 2 newest guides: Fringe Friend No More & Go First: Your 6-Week Roadmap to Making the Right Friends, both inside my members’ area, Assertive You.

& say Hi if you’re open to meeting new friends, you never know who will reply!

About Christie, Dr. C: I’m a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models. I blend evidence-based strategies with lived experience to help you handle mean girls, navigate parenting challenges, set real boundaries, make new friends, and stop shrinking in your friendships.

Halloween decor

Ghost Halloween decorations, Funboy Halloween, blow up Halloween, hanging ghosts, smoke machine

#LTKHome #LTKHalloween #LTKSeasonal

Comment Glasses for outfit links to these from @shopeyeconic @vspvisioncare

If you want to see how these would look on your face, they have an easy, virtual try on tool on eyeconic.com. They have a great selection from Longchamp and Kendra Scott to Calvin Klein and Lacoste (like the ones I’m wearing here). And you can connect your VSP vision benefits for extra savings on your new pairs.

People make up their mind about you in just 3 seconds & one of the first things they notice? Are your eyes. They tell your whole story, confidence, warmth, and approachability, all before you even say a word.

Put on something you don’t like, and you’re suddenly shrinking back, second guessing yourself, without even realizing what you put on was doing half the talking.

So next time you wonder if your glasses matter? They do. When you like how you look, you like how you feel. And when you feel good, you show up better everywhere, in friendships & all. And the right eyewear can make all the difference. #vspvisioncare

#LTKStyleTip #LTKPetite #LTKItBag

Fall outfit ideas, warm fall weather outfit ideas, fall denim, fall sweater, Amazon fall outfit ideas

Comment Mean Girl for exact tips & phrases to handle these scenarios, also found inside my member’s area Assertive You.

& Comment Outfit for outfit links.

As for the 4 Ways Boy Moms Are Mean Girl Moms Too:

-They treat “boy mom” as an identity badge & cluster only with other boy moms, turning it into a tribe outsiders can’t join.

-At birthday parties, they make parties “boys only,” as a way to quietly exclude moms who aren’t in their circle.

-You invite them to your child’s party, they ignore the chat then when your son asks their son why they didn’t come, he says they were “just at home doing nothing.” The real message? Your child isn’t worthy of being their child’s friend.

-At school pick-up, they make a big show of saying hello, sometimes loudly in front of others, then dart off before any real conversation can happen. It looks polite, but really keeps you at arm’s length.

#LTKStyleTip #LTKFindsUnder100 #LTKSeasonal

Comment Podcast for a deep dive conversation on friendships. Thank you @valerialipovetsky for having me on your @notalonepod!

Green dress, fall dress, gold bag, brown mules, fall outfit

& Comment Friend for more phrases & tips to help you make the right friends & finally belong in your friendships. All inside my new 6-week roadmap where I walk you through the entire friend dating process so you can finally break this cycle and start finding friendships that last and feel like home.

& Comment OUTFIT for outfit links from @shopbop

As for the 3 things you can do now to make new friends & stop feeling lonely:

-Stop looking for your best friend and look for who is the most approachable person that you see most often.

-Then ask them out with a time bound invite.
Instead of “Let’s hang out sometime,” try: “Want to go for a walk tomorrow morning or this weekend with me?”

-And on the friend date, use the 50/50 rule: For every 5 minutes, notice, are you doing all the asking, or all the talking? Adjust so it’s balanced relationship from the start.

About Christie, Dr. C: I’m a Johns Hopkins-trained clinical psychologist with a background in CBT, DBT, behavioral psychology, and motivational models. I blend evidence-based strategies with lived experience to help you handle mean girls, navigate parenting challenges, set real boundaries, make new friends, and stop shrinking in your friendships.

Xo,
Dr. C

#LTKItBag #LTKStyleTip #LTKShoeCrush